Morality is Subjective

This post is not contradictory to my previous post. It is referring to people who are not me, and people who should not be you. Unfortunately, if you haven't read my post on morality NOT being subjective, you probably will be one of the people I'm talking about here. So please, read that post first.

I watch Survivor. I really, really like that show. It's one of my favorite shows because it displays a more or less pure version of human behavior. I don't really care about immunity or anything else. What I love about it is the human drama and more importantly, seeing people manipulating other people.

Unlike other games, success in Survivor is directly tied to your likability. You can go far on being a physical player but you cannot win the game on it alone. The strategy in the game is simple yet deep. It is one of the purest forms of competition ever devised - where the only thing that wins the game is votes cast for or against you by the people you play the game with.

In Survivor, subjective morality is practically the name of the game.

Lying and deception are by their very nature amoral. I can think of very few (none offhand) people who would say to me that lying is okay, or that intentionally deceiving people is okay. It happens all the time in Survivor, though. Most of the time I cheer people on who deceive others in that game because deception is central to a strong game.

Interestingly enough though, even though almost everyone (there are exceptions) is sort of morally bankrupt out there, certain competitors show up as 'good guys' and others as 'bad guys'. Often times the good guys are not actually very good guys and are deceptive schemers. The bad guys almost always are deceptive schemers.

Morally we sort of pick sides, though - as though deceiving a certain amount is okay, or in a certain way is okay. Morally we say things like, "I won't lie to these people" or "I won't do this to these people" but is it really okay to lie just to some people? Isn't that the same as saying "I won't kill these people, but everyone else is okay"?

So this article is about moving people. Morality is subjective in most people's minds. I'm gonna teach you how to use it. Use it for good, please.

Everyone has their own idea of what is good and evil. Moreover - everything someone does is eventually justified in a good light in their minds. Not all people are vulnerable to this but the people that aren't are generally extremely emo/depressed people. Even most emo people are vulnerable to this. Even I am, although I am pretty good at recognizing this trick so don't try to use it on me.

People want to think of themselves as good people. Before I watched Survivor tonight I was talking with my parents at dinner (they took me out to a Japanese place, yummy) about accidentally leaving money at a restaurant. My stepdad joked that the people there would suddenly pretend not to speak English if he were to lose money there. I knew this not to be true because if he were to lose money in the restaurant and come back for it, it would make the person who found it feel like they were stealing. Most people would give the money back.

The people that wouldn't exist but are much rarer. People like that genuinely believe that what they did wasn't stealing. They'll justify it in their mind, like 'they lost it, they shouldn't have lost it so it's mine' or they will not think of you as a real person. Some way it will be justified in their mind as morally correct. However, if you challenge the people about it you are very likely to feel guilty because the person who the money belongs to is right there. It feels like stealing.

In this way you can theoretically bend people's morals in order to make what you want them to do look morally right. You can tell them things like "finders keepers," or you can say "you should let the front desk know because they probably left it there on accident." Those two statements reinforce morals (peer pressure) and make people feel better when they make the choice you want them to make. Please don't suggest the finders keepers line.

The main reason I suggest this is because if you ask people to think about the people they are hurting, they'll feel guilty. If you suggest moral ways of solving their problem, you can convince them to do the right thing.

So let's say you've got a friend who is a griefer of whatever kind. I'll use the trashtalking halo or SF or whatever player who disses on everyone who sucks and is generally not fun to be around. If you point out the morally good thing to do (explain what they did wrong nicely) and suggest it as a superior option, ideally making them feel a little guilty about the person they emotionally hurt, they're more likely to stop their behavior. If you morally reinforce them over this time period, they'll be likely to change their ways and be a much better player (in terms of behavior, probably in terms of skill too, since they'll have more people to play against!)

One more thing that is sort of related to this is the stubborn idea that everyone believes the same thing you do. I of course do not think that everyone believes the same thing I do. I try not to push too hard my ideas on people. You shouldn't either. If someone doesn't want to listen, you can treat it as their loss. More though, if someone wants to start a fight over some belief that you have, you should probably not fight too hard. I do, and it almost always makes people not like me.

Sigh.

Anyway, so morality isn't subjective... except in everyone else's mind. Use this power wisely, guys.

Elitism is a very bad thing.

Chances are, if you're reading this blog, you're good at something. If you're good at something, you have a pretty high chance of being elitist about it. In fact, even if you aren't good at anything, there is a pretty good chance that you're elitist about something that you think you're good at.

Elitism is universally bad. It is the number one killer of gaming communities and it is the sole reason we nerds continue to be small, exclusive groups of people.

I shouldn't even say all nerd communities are like this. Anime culture seems somewhat resilient to the elitist phenomenon, and anime culture is BOOMING. Localizing anime creates probably billions of dollars in revenue annually in America.

Actually, that's a made-up estimate; I'm assuming that there are over 10 million anime fans, and they spend an average of 100 dollars a year on anime, manga, and other related merchandise. I don't think that's a crazy amount. I might even be shortchanging it.

Anyway, elitism is bad. But before we can talk about anything we have to define exactly what we are talking about. So let's give it a stab: Elitism is an attitude where people look down upon others who lack a particular skill, trait, or knowledge.

It is universally looked upon as a bad thing, but unfortunately for them, the elitists are usually experts. Most elitists have skills not common to most people. A good example of an elitist clique might be 'the jocks' in high school. The stereotypical jock weighs the value of all the people he comes across on the basis of their physical prowess. The stronger, faster, and tougher you are, the more likely the jock is to think you are a good person. If you are not physically capable, the jock is likely to think you are worthless.

In gaming culture especially, the elitist phenomenon is huge. There are numerous circles of people who exclude others largely on the basis of skill. Even if they don't condemn a person directly, most people cannot accept failure or ridicule for long and leave the group of their own volition. Gaming clubs and groups expand slowly, and the people who come to stick around usually have to go through a 'trial by fire' in order to gain the skills needed to be accepted.

I know that by now, you are probably thinking to yourself that you are not one of those people. I am telling you now that you almost certainly are. If you are critical of others, call them 'noobs' or any other derogatory name, or exclude them from activities on the merit of skill or ability, you are an elitist. Even if you aren't a vocal elitist, and many aren't, if you aren't actively working to accomodate new people you are probably a part of the problem. I know only a few gamers who really fall into this category. If you are one of those people, I will publicly recognize you for it if I know who you are and know that you are a person actively working to better the community.

Ha, I'm elitist of people who aren't elitist!

Anyway, the single largest cause of elitism is pride. The idea that "I'm better" is pretty strong, especially in the male psyche (although women are not exempt). If you want to make a difference in the nerd community, shove your pride in the trash can and never look back. This means that you need to get rid of the attitude that you're better than people. This attitude is also a big reason why people don't improve (they think they're already good) so you'll be doing yourself a double favor. If you get rid of pride as much as possible, you'll start seeing the flaws in your own game and work to improve them. Then, when you are teaching someone new, you'll also have a new perspective. "Well, I did this a lot when I was starting out, but I got punished for it a lot, so you shouldn't do this unless you know they aren't going to counter."

Be encouraging of others. When someone new asks you a question, treat them seriously. If someone doesn't know how to hotkey a building or throw a grenade or do a dragon punch, show them how. If it's a tricky thing like a dragon punch, give them as many hints as you can. And above all, be encouraging. If someone fails, you should pick them back up and encourage them to keep trying. Never tell someone they suck or that they should just quit. They probably will!

You also have to get the other 'pros' to adopt the same mentality. Tell them that it's not cool to pick on the kids in the arcade because they keep jumping in. If you're in a XBL game and someone really makes a brilliant play, you need to compliment them instead of bashing them. If you can make the people in your community more accepting of 'bad players' then you will get a lot more of these bad players wanting to learn.

There is a very serious problem that stems from pride and elitism as well. Failure is really common to all of us. When we lose, it is our first and most natural instinct to blame something other than ourselves for our failure. I'm not sure why human nature is that way, but it is. When someone does a trick that beats us that we feel is unfair, we have a tendency to cry 'cheap'. This is very very bad. If we lose to something that we weren't planning for or don't know how to beat, we MUST accept the loss was our own fault. If I do not know how to beat something and then lose to it, it is my own fault for not having the knowledge or skill needed. I should ask my opponent how the trick works, and compliment him on his superior play. Most people will gladly give you all sorts of tips if you ask nicely and give compliments. If you call someone cheap and lame, they will probably not tell you anything.

Elitism is a horrible thing and it is a cancer to any community that measures a person's worth on some sort of skill or ability. Eliminate elitism from your community and encourage understanding and cooperation. That new kid might be a scrub now, but you never know if a new kid will find something really amazing that benefits your entire community.

Swallow your pride and stand up for what is right.

Irresponsible Parents and Messed-Up Values

Watchmen came out recently and it has quite a bit of objectionable content. For those of you worried about it, it really deserves its R rating.

But this article is not to talk about Watchmen. It's to talk about parents and values in society today. How many of you guys went to see Watchmen and there were families in the movie? It seems like parents are totally oblivious to taking kids to see an R-rated movie. How many of you guys had parents walk out of the movie?

This is an angry rant because it pisses me off that parents can't do the bare minimum of homework to make sure that an R-rated movie is suitable for their kids. When in doubt - it's not. I'll generally agree that at some point before they reach 17, kids can probably see R-rated movies. But do they really need to see a movie where both genitalia are visible onscreen, and where... well, the violence in Watchmen is really, really gruesome - I'll just leave it there.

The other thing that really pisses me off is the screwed up values of people. Seeing people's hands chopped off or watching people put an axe through someone's head or watching scenes of a dog eating a person's dismembered leg (this is actually tame compared to what happens in the movie, btw) is okay, but seeing a dude naked (including the naughty bits) is not okay? What the hell?

Wait, I'm supposed to have a purpose in this article. Hang on, it's coming to me.

Nah, it's not. Our values are screwed up. While gratuitous sex and violence are probably both bad to observe, is our community that screwed up that something natural is more repulsive than murder, dismemberment, and general pleasure at human suffering?